I’ve been really lucky as far as call goes. I take call for my own patients, who are lovely and only call me at night or weekends for true emergencies. I want to be called for those reasons! So everything is awesome, except for vacations. It’s tough to get coverage for vacations that I can pay back, since I’m not on staff at a hospital. (If you’re not on staff, you can’t see patients in a hospital.) I usually get my friend from fellowship to cover me for vacations, but she was busy during my Argentina trip. I didn’t know what to do, so I asked Dr. B, the head of child psychiatry at a nearby hospital. He was really nice. I thanked him profusely and vowed to pay him back some way, but didn’t really mean it. Maybe I could take him and his wife out to dinner or something. But maybe they don’t like me and wouldn’t want to go to dinner. That would be awesome. I was happy and fuzzy until Dr. B e -mailed me to tell me there was something I could do for him. I could give a lecture and participate in a half day adolescent psychiatry program this Friday.
OK. This could be fun. Maybe. What’s the topic? Self mutilation? How un-fun can you get? Dr. B said he picked a topic for me that would have the least possibility for TMI. How does he know that I don’t scratch my retina on a regular basis? But, he’s right. The topic doesn’t lend itself to TMI or humor. What sort of a crappy topic is that? It’s just mean, I tell you. I’ve been working on it for a week and have made it my goal in life to make the talk funny. At least a little funny. What if I offend people, you ask? Well, you have to break a couple of eggs to make a good cake.
Here’s my first slide:
by Robin Altman, MD
(not that I do it, I’m just talking about it)
I ran it by a patient of mine who cuts herself, today. “Corny,” she said, but I saw her lips twitch. “You almost smiled!” I said. “Did not,” she said. “Did so! See! Another lip twitch!” I said. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she said. “Maybe you have Tourette’s,” I told her. “Nice bedside manner,” she said. Then she really did smile.
Here are some self-injury cartoons I found. Thank goodness for Google.
I promise to give some good information, too. I just wanted you guys to know – you don’t get this offensive without a lot of hard work.