Catch Up and Thank You

My comedy routine went really well.  I’m a happy camper.  I’ll even have a you tube video up shortly.  Remember – not for the faint of heart.  (That means you, Mom.)

Our internet has been down for 2 weeks, and I went to Boston right after my comedy show, so I’m way behind on everyone’s blogs.  I’ll catch up this weekend.  Sorry for the neglect, bloggy friends.

I’d like to thank those of you who gave suggestions for the show, and show you how I used them:

Pearl from Pearlies of Wisdom:  Can you work a TV and a remote control (of course, the husband would be the keeper of the remote!) into a joke, ie. maybe a wife losing control while the husband is searching for the remote control among the bed sheets…or something like that. She could say, “I’m coming” in between pants and he could say, “Hold on, I’ll be with you in a minute.” (as he’s looking for the remote)It sounds real enough to be funny.

I love this suggestion, and Pearl even helped my hone it further.  Here’s what it became:

Middle aged men love their remotes.  Hell, let’s face it, all men love their remotes.  My husband doesn’t like to let go of our remote, so he uses it as a dildo during sex.

No one understands why the dog is always trying to chew on it.

Mary of Resident Alien:  To my mind, just about the funniest middle-aged sex scene I can think of is in the movie ‘East is East’. The husband accidentally traps the flesh from his wife’s upper arm under his hand during the, um, act, making her squawk at him to get off. For some reason, this just cracks me up every time. I’m also partial to Viv Stanshall’s line, ‘a wine and middle-aged spread party’, though that has nothing to do with sex…

Very funny thought, Mary!  Here’s what it became:

The other night I screamed when my husband accidentally rested his elbows on my upper arm flab.

That made him think of some interesting S & M possibilities, like pinning me to the bed like a butterfly.

Many jokes were from my friend Polly, who came over to brainstorm with me the weekend before the show.  An example of what we came up with:

I couldn’t understand why my husband’s butt disappeared, but he didn’t lose any weight.  Then I realized he had a butt in the front.  The other day he came  in the house and was walking right towards me, and I said, “Hey, Honey!  Your ass looks good in that shirt!”

The moral of the story is, that it takes a village to raise a comic.  Thanks, all!