We went to see Star Trek tonight at the Reading Cinema Imax. Like the lazy, poor planning dimwits that we are, we left home for the movie 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start. Part of this was due to Adam’s annoying theory that you can get to a movie up to 20 minutes late because of all of the trailers in the beginning. Part of it was due to me not being able to find a ziplock bag to put kumquats in for the movie. Part of it is because we’re idiots (see above).
When we arrived at the movie, a teenaged girl informed us that Star Trek in the Imax was sold out.
“Great!” I growled, trying to place as much blame in the word as humanly possible. (Never mind the kumquat problem.) “Now we’re screwed! We’ll Just have to see Angels and Demons. I heard it sucks. Blah, blah, whine, grumble, blah, whine.”
Adam was unperturbed. “Just get behind me and don’t speak,” he said. Right. Like I can do that. Get real.
Adam strolled up to the ticket counter. “My sons are already in the Imax saving us seats. Could I have 2 tickets to Star Trek, please?”
As the girl turned to ask her manager if this was OK, I hissed at Adam. “Look. Let’s just see Angels and Demons. This is stupid. I’m embarrassed. From now on, can we just leave at a normal time for the movie? I mean, really!”
The girl printed out 2 tickets and gave them to Adam. I followed him into the theater nipping at his heels, saying, “Adam! Come ooo-on! Stop! Let’s go to Angels and Demons! Maybe it doesn’t suck. Come ooo-on!”
Adam ignored me. We entered the movie, which was jam packed. Adam stood in the middle of the lower walkway and looked thoughtfully over the audience. I tried to pretend he was an escaped mental patient I was escorting to the movies to be nice.
Adam spotted a row with 2 seats separated by at least 6 people. He went into the row, talked to people, and suddenly the entire row of people got up and rearranged themselves. We ended up with 2 seats right in the middle of the theater.
We sat down in our perfect seats, and Adam turned to me. “Who’s the best?” he asked.
I gritted my teeth and pointed at him.
“I can’t hear you!” Adam said joyfully.
“You are.” I hissed, but I felt guilty, so I gave him a couple of kumquats.
The movie rocked! The most enjoyable movie I’ve seen in months. I’m only a mid level Trekkie, but I loved it. I fully recommend you see it, and be careful to leave the house in plenty of time. Not everyone is married to Adam.
Bonus: Click here for The Onion video about the movie.
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May 15, 2009 at 11:46 pm |
This is why I love being an Altman. I read this story and thought “Yeah, that’s the way we roll.”
May 15, 2009 at 11:47 pm |
Sean: Inna and I are both eye rolling together.
May 16, 2009 at 6:18 am |
Yup, that is our life. Except Sean would not only have brought some really obnoxious smelly sandwich to eat but would make up a goofy theme song and sing it very loudly during closing credits.
We loved Star Trek too!
May 16, 2009 at 12:43 am |
Wow! Okay, now I think you’re both amazing!
May 16, 2009 at 12:55 am |
LOL! Nice review. This new flick might just be the best “Star Trek” offering yet !!!
May 16, 2009 at 1:42 am |
Kumquat? See, now you’re just making up words.
Star Trek totally rocked though.
May 16, 2009 at 9:04 am |
If I remember correctly, last time we went to the movies, it was a pineapple sandwich. Very creative snacking.
May 16, 2009 at 11:15 am |
Inna: I love the goofy theme song! I can just imagine that! Adam doesn’t bring smelly sandwiches, but he does take in iced coffee so he doesn’t fall asleep during the movie.
May 16, 2009 at 11:16 am |
Spy: Ha! He was totally incredible. I would never have the guts to do that. They tell me the movie is full and I slink away. The end.
May 16, 2009 at 11:17 am |
Kel: I swear they are real. They have them in the grocery store here. They look like tiny oranges, if you see them. They’re really sour. Worse than a sweet tart. Way worse.
May 16, 2009 at 11:18 am |
Carole: That thing was good! I wanted to make more, but I left the rest of the pineapple on the counter and it spoiled. Now I’m in the mood for pineapple!
May 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm |
That’s so great he did that.
I wouldn’t have thought about the “saving the seats” move, but we have asked people to move. Well, Ibis asked them. He’s nice like that. 
I’m glad you liked it — so far everyone I know that’s seen it has said it rocked.
May 16, 2009 at 8:55 pm |
Melanie: It was really enjoyable! I can definitely picture Ibis doing the seat thing.
May 17, 2009 at 12:16 am |
Great story, Robin. I’ve shared the Altman secret with my husband now, so it’s going to become a Saban secret too!
I think it’s something that my Ron would try too.
Kudos to the “escaped mental patient” and his nursemaid for their bravery.
May 17, 2009 at 12:49 am |
That is soooo Adam, especially the “who’s the best” part. He really is quite a cute specimen.
May 17, 2009 at 1:08 am |
I’ll have to remember your thumbs up review a couple years from now when we’re looking at the TV Guide for something to watch. Yeah, that’s usually how far behind we are on watching movies.
May 17, 2009 at 5:21 am |
This is amazing: I’m just like your husband and you’re just like mine, except for the kumquat thing. When we go to see a movie, it drives my husband mad if we don’t give ourselves a 30-minute leeway. He likes to be in his seat fifteen minutes before the first trailer starts in order to get maximum value from the experience. I’m a seat-of-my-pants type myself. I’m still popping popcorn or stuffing it into plastic bags (to my children’s huge shame) while my husband is outside, revving up the engine and wringing his hands.
May 17, 2009 at 5:23 am |
And I’m filled with awe at your husband’s breathless audacity. I would love to try it myself, but it would mean divorce.
May 17, 2009 at 8:02 am |
Your husband rocks!!!
We saw Star Trek the day before yesterday. Oh, I LOVED it!!!
My only quibble was the small scene where one of the secondary characters called Spock’s mother a “Human Whore.” I had my two sons with me (I often take them to PG 13, such as Spiderman, because the rating is normally for the pace and ‘violence’ which isn’t so bad at that level). So my 9 year old blurts out, in a crowded, quiet movie theater, “Mommy, what’s a whore?”
Sure, people giggled. But it was one of those moments I didn’t laugh. That word is one of the worst words, to me. And you know I’m not a prude.
Overall, the movie was fantastic!!
May 17, 2009 at 12:55 pm |
Pearl: Thank you! You are welcome to Adam’s secret. Just warning you, though – it takes a strong stomach to watch him rearrange the movie theater. Yeesh.
May 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm |
Sykomed: He is pretty amusing. That’s why I let him live.
May 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm |
mamaneeds2rant: Say it ain’t so! I couldn’t live without movies. Plus, I might become really constipated with no popcorn. (Or kumquats?) I might have to come find you and take you to a movie, if you don’t watch out!
May 17, 2009 at 1:21 pm |
Mary: Adam cracked up at your comment. We both love the idea of your husband waiting in the theater an extra 15 minutes to get maximum enjoyment. Yes, this is a case of role reversal. What’s wrong with popcorn in plastic bags? They charge 5 bucks for a bucket of popcorn! It’s obscene!
May 17, 2009 at 1:22 pm |
Chris: That’s hilarious! At least your daughter got some laughs. Maybe she’ll do stand up one day!
May 17, 2009 at 8:40 pm |
Your husband is a brave man! Good for him. Glad you enjoyed the movie.
-FringeGirl
May 18, 2009 at 12:44 pm |
Don’t you just hate it when the husband does something right but goes about it the completely wrong way? Seriously, though, Kumquats? lol. Not your traditional movie theater fare…
The movie does look like a fun action flick, I can see why the die hard Trekkies would have a hard time with it. Does the new Kirk even know how to do the double fisted hammer blow? Lame.
May 18, 2009 at 5:07 pm |
Domestic: He’s a goober, but a useful one!
May 18, 2009 at 5:09 pm |
mrsbear: The kumquats might have been just a tad bizarre.
I was really mad that I had to say, “You’re the best.” I hate that. I’d rather say, “You’re the most annoying.”
Ugh! There was no double fisted hammer blow! Maybe on the deluxe edition DVD.
May 19, 2009 at 10:29 pm |
[...] the worst head cold of my life. (Hey, if Robin was brave enough to post her “Look,” and make up words like ”kumquat,” then who am I to hide my puffy eyes, bright red nose, and hideously neglected [...]
May 20, 2009 at 10:15 am |
Way to go Adam. I love a person who can’t take no for an answer!
By the way, serves you right for being late to the movie… who brings kumquats to the movies?! What ever happened to the corn syrup ladened juju fruits mixed in with the tooth cracking popcorn kernels. Have you no sympathy for the struggling dentists?
May 20, 2009 at 8:07 pm |
Margie: If you love people who can’t take no for an answer, you’ll adore Adam. He’s a nutjob. But a nice, sneaky sort of nutjob.
I’m on a demented healthy kick, so no candy. Hence the kumquats. I try to pick really strong tasting stuff, because that tends to kill my appetite better. My chubbyness is taking over the world.