A Natural Comedian Strikes Again
July 16, 2008I’m innocently sitting on the livingroom couch checking my e mail, when Kevin strolls in, munching on something. (I pray he doesn’t read my blog. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. If I had a “facebook” I’d be screwed.)
“I came up with a great way to handle it when I’m mad at you guys,” began Kevin. Munch. Munch. I point out crumbs on couch, and he licks his finger and pokes at them as he speaks. “Not that I think we get along badly or anything. I think we get along better than most of my friends and their parents. Don’t you?”
I murmur encouragingly. So what if he’s delusional?
“When you guys say something horrible and my blood pressure shoots up from zero to three hundred, I just take a really deep breath and leave.” (It’s better than the usual whining with a cracking voice in decibels known only to wolves. He’s 15 years old. What the heck is he worrying about blood pressure for? By his medical estimation, first he’s a zombie, and then he’s a car tire.)
“I was with Dad the other day, and he did his usual, “turn to a stranger in the street and say, ‘Trust me, don’t have kids’ “, and I could feel my blood pressure shoot up. I did the whole take a deep breath thing, but Dad kept talking! The whole point is that it ends the conversation! I wasn’t sure what to do. But I didn’t yell, so I was proud. So, what do you think about my new technique?”. Kevin licks crumbs off his fingers, and then proceeds to pick them off the couch. (My couch is now free of crumbs, yet covered in Kevin slobber.)
“I think it’s great, and will stand you in good stead later in life.” I take an exaggerated deep breath.
“Yeah, that’s what I think, too,” Kevin bounces off the couch, and gives me a kiss on the head. “Bye, Mom!”
I love this kid. He’s a never ending source of material - the gift that keeps on giving. I’m taking both boys to Boston this weekend to see my family. Hopefully, my parents will be as amused as I am. I’ll have to warn Kevin about the “eating on the couch” thing. My mom is too old for “slobber couch”.
Posted by robinaltman




